The Great Sugar High of Sirius Black
by ExplodingWeekend
Summary: In which Remus and James learn the hard way that Sirius and sugar do not mix.


A/N: Written for my sister in the middle of the night because she _insisted_ that she have a Sirius-centric fic to drool over (or whatnot).

I don't know why, so don't ask me. Just enjoy the Sirius-ness of the whole thing (no pun intended!)

The Great Sugar High of Sirius Black

"You have got to be kidding me."

Sirius smiled happily down at the five bowls of ice cream that were arranged around him. "Nope, Moony. Your eyes do not deceive you. I, Sirius Black, have made five perfect ice cream sundaes, and I will not share any with you."

Sirius could see Remus fighting back a pout, and smirked triumphantly.

"Padfoot, you can't possibly eat all that. Especially not with all that…"

"What was that, Moony? Were you commenting on the excessive amount of-" Sirius lowered his voice, "_Chocolate sauce_? It's your favorite, isn't it? Chocolate?"

Remus cleared his throat. "No. Go ahead and eat it, see if I care. Get yourself sick. But I am _not_ cleaning up after you tonight." Remus snuck a glance at the bespectacled boy beside him. "James can do that, seeing as you had to get all this ice cream from _somewhere_, and you never sneak off to the kitchens alone."

James raised his hands defensively. "Hey, it wasn't me! He probably went with Peter! There's no way I'm cleaning up dog barf all night!"

Sirius stuck his tongue out at his two friends before digging into the ice cream. He closed his eyes and made happy noises in the back of his throat, and if he were in his Animagus form his tale would definitely be wagging.

Oh, yes. Sirius Black loved ice cream. Especially when he was eating in front of his ice cream-less friends.

He was almost done with the fifth bowl when it started. First it was the slow throb of cold in his temples, and then his feet began to feel numb. Then, everything exploded into color, and the buzz made its way into Sirius's brain.

"Heeeeey, guys!" He grinned stupidly at his friends, who had seen this coming and were taking shelter on James's bed. "This feels great!"

"Moony, I'm scared!" James moaned, holding his pillow in front of his chest as if it were going to protect him from the horrible scene that was bound to unfold.

"I know, Prongs. I know," Remus said sagely, holding James's second pillow over his head in case Sirius started throwing things like he did last time.

Sirius rolled around on the floor, emitting his trademark laugh. "Hey, where's the… the… the rat!" Sirius started to laugh again as if he had just said the funniest thing on Earth.

Remus glowered. "Down in the Common Room."

"Lucky rat," James mumbled. Remus nudged him in the ribs, but silently agreed.

Both boys looked cautiously at the spastic Sirius rolling on the floor.

"Should we do something?" Remus asked.

"Moooneeeey, I'm fiiiiiiiine!" Sirius lolled. He picked himself off the floor. "I'm going to find W- Wor- the rat!" He broke out into laughter again.

"Moony, did you lock the door?" James asked frantically.

"Oh, no!"

They ran to hold back Sirius, but it was too late. The sugar-high Sirius had already thrown open the door and was making his way haphazardly down the stairs.

He made it about halfway.

---

Sirius woke the next morning to bright sunlight. He growled in the back of his throat and raised a hand to wave away the bright beams.

"Moony, turn off the sun please."

"No, you deserve what you get, you bloody git." Something wet smacked Sirius on the forehead.

"Aargh!" He screamed, waving his arms frantically but keeping his eyes closed.

"Relax, Pads, it's only us," came a new voice.

"James? James is that you! Oh, thank goodness! I think Moony is trying to kill me!" Sirius cautiously opened his eyes to look at the happy faces of his friends.

They didn't look happy.

"Why aren't you guys happy?" Sirius demanded. "I want happy, now! I'm alive, isn't that great! Except _someone_ keeps trying to kill me," he added, glaring pointedly at Remus.

Remus hit him again with the wet thing, which Sirius now noted was a rag that had been soaked in cool water. "I'm not trying to kill you; I'm trying to make you feel better. Even though it was your own bloody fault you fell down those stairs."

James nodded. "See how angry you've made mother?" He narrowly missed being slapped with the rag. "I mean, we're both furious at you. This is the second time you've done this in a month!"

"Aww, I love you guys!" Sirius spread open his arms for what he anticipated to be a big group hug.

"Were you listening?" James asked exasperatedly.

"Nope. Now hug!"

"We're leaving," Remus said, dragging James towards the door. It closed with an ominous click.

"Nobody loves me," Sirius wailed. "I'M SORRY! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?"

The door opened again and Remus and James stepped in.

"Yeah, we're happy now. Apology accepted," James smiled at his bed-ridden friend.

"But no more ice cream. And you owe me a trip to Honeydukes for being mean about the whole chocolate thing." Remus folded his arms over his chest and tried to look menacing.

"Of course Moony! I'll do anything for you guys!"

"Will you stop being so dramatic all the time?" James asked.

"Nope, that I can't do. Now hug!"

"Fine, if it'll get you to stop being so demanding. Remus, over here now. We're hugging Sirius."

"Do I have to?"

"YES!" Shouted both boys at the same time. James dragged the reluctant werewolf into Sirius's arms.

"Okay, we're done now," Sirius announced, pushing James and Remus off of him. "Sleepy time!"

With that, he pulled the covers over his head and went to sleep.

"Should we tell him its almost time for lunch?" James asked.

Remus paused for a second. "No. Let him sleep, he needs the rest."

"Aww, you do have a heart!"

"Not really. I just can't wait for the moment you realize he's sleeping in your bed." Remus waved to James and walked out of the door, leaving James with a snoring Sirius.

"Wait… WHAT?"


End file.
